Regret.

I regret the moment I realized I don't believe in God. I didn't know how significant this realization was till a few years later. To believe in God is too optimistic perhaps. I wish I had that firm optimism. Sadly I don't. Maybe it is because of the way I was brought up.. Skepticism is a way of life. To question every belief and not accept anything as it seems is a habit which I regret from the bottom of my heart. As a child I used to begin my prayer with the words- God, I don't think you exist, but if you do exist.. Now I wish I had accepted the existence of Him as an absolute truth.
There is something so fascinating how some people have unquestionable faith in Him.(or Her.) These people have a firm belief in a supreme being and fate too mostly. This faith answers all their questions. I envy them. Of course there is the question that if given a choice would I choose strong and blind belief in Him or what I have now... maybe I would choose what I have now. But I will not be so arrogant to say there is no God. One might say one is an agnostic. Should quote Bertrand Russell's stand on this. On being asked if an an agnostic can be considered an atheist, he said, "an agnostic may hold that the existence of God, though not impossible, is very improbable; he may even hold it so improbable that it is not worth considering in practice." Maybe that explains my non-belief. Or so I would like to believe.

Tee Vee anyone?

How much TV is too much TV? I mean how do you know you are watching indecent amounts of television when you are really looking forward to the next show. And the next one. AND the next one... Sigh. Its bliss. Wedging yourself in front of that screen... watching shows, movies, shows about movies. With a popcorn bowl of the perfect size,(big. BIG.), at that perfect distance from where you can reach it without too much effort, feet up on furniture, completely oblivious to the fact that the people around you aren't noticing you anymore maybe because you've pretty much done the same thing for the last two days.. wow. Add to that no phone calls... And I love it. Its great being completely invisible to everything and everyone. It is a time of self discovery, solitude, peaceful reminiscence, introspection and retrospection. And I have discovered.. that I, am in my Garfield phase. Which apart from being my invention basically allows me to be completely lazy, procrastinate, watch filthy amounts of TeeVee, eat lots of junk food and ignore all the important people in my life and not get screamed at about it.. because m in my Garfield phase C'mon! They gotto understand that much I guess. I mean there are some days in everyones lives with complete inactivity.. (Hmm.well. m hoping here.)I mean.. Doing perfectly nothing is an art.Takes a lot of patience to sit still and just.... be.
Oops... Barney Stinsson back on the show. Gotta go! Happy lazying around!!

Safe.

The other day I was having a hard time. Just going through the day. The motions of the day... And a friend said something to me that made me feel ok. Safe perhaps. He said,

"You will get through it.And even if you don't, you will still have the 'present moment'. The 'present moment' is the whole of Life...it is the home of the 'Divine' if you want. anyway...and if you forget that...you will have me to remind you. So whatever happens you will always be safe."

Friends. The best people ever.

Another Nina Simone..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJiC6cA3dUA&feature=related

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

M a Nina Simone fan. ..

Nina Simone... great lady. Never knew I would love jazz but she has it.. do listen to her!

For a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M-zRMqCX7w

Lost in day to day,
Turned another way
With a laugh, a kind hello
And some small talk with friends I know
I forget that I'm not over you for a while.

A wave, an easy grin,
A smile to put them in,
Got other lives to listen to
And some music that I have to do
I forget that I'm not over you for a while.

Days go by with no empty feeling,
And remember you're gone.

People say to me, "hey Nina do you need some company?
When you have some time to spend,
Drop around-you need your friends."
They forget that I'm not over you for a while,
They forget that I'm not over you for a while.

Mamma Mia to the flower power!

I just watched the new musical Mamma Mia. Has all those ABBAs songs... At one point I used to find them a little cheesy. But then they are terribly hummable and sorta cute. But I actually like the movie's OST than ABBAs. And I just loved the film! I was totally stunned by Meryl Streeps performance. Especially her rendition of Winner Takes It All. I mean it comes so easy to her and the song has some vocal somersaults really... She was totally amazing at it. Her Donna is around fortyish but still has that fun and innocent side to her which Streep brings out beautifully. Few people can age that gracefully.
But the real discovery for me was Pierce Brosnan. I never really liked his Bond and I hadn't see any of his other work. But he was amazing in the movie. Matching vocal chords with Streep must have been a task but he did it perfectly. (Mmmmm.. and imagine Pierce Brosnan with a stubble, in all earnest SOSing you.What more would you want?!)
Colin Firth was a delight too. He did a nice job with Our Last Summer. He has a clear voice. Also Christina Baranski doin that 'Does Your Mother Know' bit is perfectly outrageously funny!

Overall it was very fresh, very new, wonderful performances by everyone and totally fun!

Let us speak not of you or me
Of what has been said or unspoken yet..
Lest it violate that which is sacred

But with each step forward
Reminisce awhile
For memories time reclaims with every dusty mile

And maybe in a moment or an eternity
You will see...

A thousand adieus
But in vain my dear friend
For in your deepest
You know
We ll meet again.

The preface to 'The picture of Dorian Grey' by Oscar Wilde.

The artist is the creator of beautiful things.

To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim.

The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.

The highest as the lowest form of criticism is a mode of autobiography. Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming.

This is a fault.

Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope.

They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only beauty.

There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written.

That is all.

The nineteenth century dislike of realism is the rage of Caliban seeing his own face in a glass.

The nineteenth century dislike of romanticism is the rage of Caliban not seeing his own face in a glass.

The moral life of man forms part of the subject-matter of the artist, but the morality of art consists in the perfect use of an imperfect medium. No artist desires to prove anything. Even things that are true can be proved.

No artist has ethical sympathies.

An ethical sympathy in an artist is an unpardonable mannerism of style. No artist is ever morbid. The artist can express everything.

Thought and language are to the artist instruments of an art.

Vice and virtue are to the artist materials for an art.

From the point of view of form, the type of all the arts is the art of the musician.

From the point of view of feeling, the actor's craft is the type.

All art is at once surface and symbol.

Those who go beneath the surface do so at their peril.

Those who read the symbol do so at their peril.

It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.

Diversity of opinion about a work of art shows that the work is new, complex, and vital.

When critics disagree, the artist is in accord with himself.

We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.

All art is quite useless.