A poem by Alfred Tennyson- Now sleeps the crimson petal

Now sleeps the crimson petal, now the white;
Nor waves the cypress in the palace walk;
Nor winks the gold fin in the porphyry font:
The firefly wakens: waken thou with me.

Now droops the milkwhite peacock like a ghost,
And like a ghost she glimmers on to me.

Now lies the Earth all Danae to the stars,
And all thy heart lies open unto me.

Now slides the silent meteor on, and leaves
A shining furrow, as thy thoughts in me.

Now folds the lily all her sweetness up,
And slips into the bosom of the lake:
So fold thyself, my dearest, thou, and slip
Into my bosom and be lost in me.


There are many interpretations of this poem... But whatever way you choose to feel it, it certainly is moving. It has been set to music by a few composers... I have heard and liked the one by Mychael Danna. Do listen..!

Each coming night by Iron and Wine.

One of those songs you have to hear all day(s) once you hear it...

Will you say when I’m gone away
"My lover came to me and we'd lay
In rooms unfamiliar but until now"
Oh oh oh oh Until now
Oh oh oh oh Until now

Will you say to them when I’m gone
"I loved your son for his sturdy arms
We both learned to cradle then live without"
Oh oh oh oh Live without
Oh oh oh oh Live without

Will you say when I’m gone away
'Your father’s body was judgment day
We both dove and rose to the riverside"
Oh oh oh oh Riverside
Oh oh oh oh Riverside

Will you say to me when I’m gone
"Your face has faded but lingers on
'Cause light strikes a deal with each coming night"
Oh oh oh oh Coming night

The story of the good Brahmin. - Voltaire

"I wish I had never been born!" the Brahmin remarked.

"Why so?" said I.

"Because," he replied, "I have been studying these forty years, and I find that it has been so much time lost...I believe that I am composed of matter, but I have never been able to satisfy myself what it is that produces thought. I am even ignorant whether my understanding is a simple faculty like that of walking or digesting, or if I think with my head in the same manner as I take hold of a thing with my hands...I talk a great deal, and when I have done speaking I remain confounded and ashamed of what I have said."

The same day I had a conversation with an old woman, his neighbor. I asked her if she had ever been unhappy for not understanding how her soul was made? She did not even comprehend my question. She had not, for the briefest moment in her life, had a thought about these subjects with which the good Brahmin had so tormented himself. She believed in the bottom of her heart in the metamorphoses of Vishnu, and provided she could get some of the sacred water of the Ganges in which to make her ablutions, she thought herself the happiest of women. Struck with the happiness of this poor creature, I returned to my philosopher, whom I thus addressed:

"Are you not ashamed to be thus miserable when, not fifty yards from you, there is an old automaton who thinks of nothing and lives contented?"

"You are right," he replied. "I have said to myself a thousand times that I should be happy if I were but as ignorant as my old neighbor; and yet it is a happiness which I do not desire."

This reply of the Brahmin made a greater impression on me than anything that had passed.

Regret.

I regret the moment I realized I don't believe in God. I didn't know how significant this realization was till a few years later. To believe in God is too optimistic perhaps. I wish I had that firm optimism. Sadly I don't. Maybe it is because of the way I was brought up.. Skepticism is a way of life. To question every belief and not accept anything as it seems is a habit which I regret from the bottom of my heart. As a child I used to begin my prayer with the words- God, I don't think you exist, but if you do exist.. Now I wish I had accepted the existence of Him as an absolute truth.
There is something so fascinating how some people have unquestionable faith in Him.(or Her.) These people have a firm belief in a supreme being and fate too mostly. This faith answers all their questions. I envy them. Of course there is the question that if given a choice would I choose strong and blind belief in Him or what I have now... maybe I would choose what I have now. But I will not be so arrogant to say there is no God. One might say one is an agnostic. Should quote Bertrand Russell's stand on this. On being asked if an an agnostic can be considered an atheist, he said, "an agnostic may hold that the existence of God, though not impossible, is very improbable; he may even hold it so improbable that it is not worth considering in practice." Maybe that explains my non-belief. Or so I would like to believe.

Tee Vee anyone?

How much TV is too much TV? I mean how do you know you are watching indecent amounts of television when you are really looking forward to the next show. And the next one. AND the next one... Sigh. Its bliss. Wedging yourself in front of that screen... watching shows, movies, shows about movies. With a popcorn bowl of the perfect size,(big. BIG.), at that perfect distance from where you can reach it without too much effort, feet up on furniture, completely oblivious to the fact that the people around you aren't noticing you anymore maybe because you've pretty much done the same thing for the last two days.. wow. Add to that no phone calls... And I love it. Its great being completely invisible to everything and everyone. It is a time of self discovery, solitude, peaceful reminiscence, introspection and retrospection. And I have discovered.. that I, am in my Garfield phase. Which apart from being my invention basically allows me to be completely lazy, procrastinate, watch filthy amounts of TeeVee, eat lots of junk food and ignore all the important people in my life and not get screamed at about it.. because m in my Garfield phase C'mon! They gotto understand that much I guess. I mean there are some days in everyones lives with complete inactivity.. (Hmm.well. m hoping here.)I mean.. Doing perfectly nothing is an art.Takes a lot of patience to sit still and just.... be.
Oops... Barney Stinsson back on the show. Gotta go! Happy lazying around!!

Safe.

The other day I was having a hard time. Just going through the day. The motions of the day... And a friend said something to me that made me feel ok. Safe perhaps. He said,

"You will get through it.And even if you don't, you will still have the 'present moment'. The 'present moment' is the whole of Life...it is the home of the 'Divine' if you want. anyway...and if you forget that...you will have me to remind you. So whatever happens you will always be safe."

Friends. The best people ever.

Another Nina Simone..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJiC6cA3dUA&feature=related

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

M a Nina Simone fan. ..

Nina Simone... great lady. Never knew I would love jazz but she has it.. do listen to her!

For a while.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M-zRMqCX7w

Lost in day to day,
Turned another way
With a laugh, a kind hello
And some small talk with friends I know
I forget that I'm not over you for a while.

A wave, an easy grin,
A smile to put them in,
Got other lives to listen to
And some music that I have to do
I forget that I'm not over you for a while.

Days go by with no empty feeling,
And remember you're gone.

People say to me, "hey Nina do you need some company?
When you have some time to spend,
Drop around-you need your friends."
They forget that I'm not over you for a while,
They forget that I'm not over you for a while.